Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
