Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
