ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
