I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
