so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
