CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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