why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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