You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm passing your future prison.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
