then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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