I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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