youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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