so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
