Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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