Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
