Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
