I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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