Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
either way he was missing a nipple.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
