I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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