it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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