i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
