New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
