he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
