Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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