Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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