Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize