I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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