This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
