Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
