I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
