We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
