i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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