I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
