Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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