she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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