You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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