Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.

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(703): View more from Virginia

oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan

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(716): View more from New York

strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them

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(801): View more from Utah

She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.

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(516): View more from New York

well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks

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(513): View more from Ohio

She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.

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