You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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