just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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