You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
