Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
