I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
