i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
