he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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