Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
