Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
