I think I died a long time ago.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
