the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
