And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
