I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
