one two three fourrrrnication!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
